leaving, on a jet plane

This episode of Mile High Apple is brought to you by John Denver. Sappy, yes, but I like it too.
So, Steve has been and gone, and once again I feel a little drawn. We had an emotional visit – emotional in the good way, thankfully, not in the “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” way. After a few hours, it felt like he had never left; at least, not until a few hours until I knew he would leave, when I could feel the tension come back in my neck and hardness settle in my face. I feel like I have to keep things together from the kids, like I have to save my own tears for when the house is still.
It’s funny, also, to realize that I don’t entirely dislike life on my own. I’m lonely, absolutely; but I’m also organized and together, much more so than when he’s here. He’s a constant distraction, and I mean that in the best way. I would rather be with him than doing the other menial silliness I must do. But if I had a choice, I’d have him here with me. He’d go to work, or I would; and then we would be together at the close of each day. The heart wants what it wants.