a funny feeling

I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week. So much has happened, but it has been kind of hard to describe. Monday I reported to my new job, which I shall not go into detail about because this is not really a blog about work. But as my new job is the reason we moved, it is difficult to not mention it at all.
Up to this week I had not worked for four weeks, the longest period of not working since I was unemployed in 1991 for about two months. I wasn't exactly idle because moving is a lot of work. But I did not have to show up at an office at a certain time looking presentable. It was scary how natural and pleasant it was waking up and filling my time as I liked, task by task, no need to glance at the clock. I was afraid it would be really hard to be a wage slave again, but I was wrong. I slipped back into the office routine as easily as I left it. Except, of course, it is all different now. I am taking the subway half an hour to work instead of a five-minute drive to downtown Raleigh and a 10-minute search for parking. Going to a completely new and much larger workplace (where I still have to concentrate to find the bathroom).
I have not lived in New York for more than 15 years. And yet in some ways I feel like I never left, although I know that is ridiculous. The city is not the same, nor I. And yet. That subway smell of the rush of air as the train approaches, the canyons of Midtown, the dizzying view of the interior of the big public library on 42nd Street, the pretzel vendors, the crush and reek of Chinatown. It's all still here.
Every now and then, at least once a day, I am surprised by this strage feeling. I walk outside and am surprised by the light, a sudden view of the Chrysler building, (my favorite skyscraper) or something in my neighborhood that makes me laugh, like a huge burly man walking a tiny Yorkshire terrier the other night. "Come on, Cruiser," he said to the Yorkie as it pulled toward my dog. (Cruiser?)
Happiness? Is that what it is? I don't know yet; it might be happiness.